Finding Aesthetic Delight in the Worst Movie of All Time: The Room

It has been said that all human beings share a basic aversion to listening to other human beings discuss their dreams. How many of our hearts have been prematurely stopped in their tracks by the innocuous “so I had the weirdest dream last night!”

We trip all over ourselves to feign curiosity, nodding and tilting our heads and allowing ourselves to be compelled and engaged and entranced by the mundane workings of another’s reverie, their tedious nocturnal shadow self.

The Room bears witness to our common distaste for conjuring up dreams into reality. The Room was doubtlessly materialized from the labyrinthine recesses of Tommy Wiseau’s nightmares. Critics before myself have lampooned the film’s utterly reckless suckage. But we can’t get enough. It is campiness purified of all trope; it is the distillation of every element of every film you ever hated stripped bare of all the familiar comforting conventions.

Beginning with what could only generously be called ‘epic’ shots of San Francisco and a droning classical score…oh you just know it’s low budget. The medieval minstrel music that accompanies the sweeping neighborhood views feels uncomfortably appropriate.  

Laura Palmer took the night off, leaving her second rate understudy to step up to the base. The Room is like the Black Lodge from Twin Peaks, except actually disturbing. Our wily antagonist Lisa gets her makeup done by that girl from your small town who does the night shift at the highway convenience store. And then there’s the mind bendingly tragic love scenes, which are a salve for the celibate among us- rest assured you won’t want to be getting it on for a good long while after witnessing this madness.

The Room’s performances, if that’s what they can be called, are histrionic, utterly disjointed, and maddeningly compelling. The lack of emotional range and the forcefully feigned reactions are truly inspired. I’ve seen hotel pay per view more convincing than this but the fact remains: it is a positively electrifying watch. We just can’t stop loving this film, though it’s fate is sealed, and the entire 90 min runtime sees it sinking resolutely to the ocean floor.